One man’s story of porn addiction

One man’s story of porn addiction

sfasfg2I’m a recovering drug addict and have experienced firsthand the physical and mental damage it causes in one’s life. I feel lucky to be alive. Through my experiences, one thing has changed in me that probably not many people would associate with my past drug use. My perception of pornography has taken a very different turn. If you would have asked me five years ago, I would have never considered porn use to be an ‘addiction’ or a ‘drug.’ As a matter of fact, I probably would have laughed in your face. It wasn’t until I personally found out its effects and patterns to be almost identical to my issues with drugs.

Because of my past drug addiction that I felt I had beat, indulging in porn didn’t seem like a problem. After all, it was a ‘natural’ part of life, plus I wasn’t using drugs (or so I thought) anymore. I thought that porn was harmless. It’s not like pornography could kill me or hurt anyone around me, right? What I came to find out the hard way is that porn became a very real addiction with very real effects in my life. And some of these effects were almost identical to hard drugs. I wasn’t sticking needles in my arm, but I got to the point I couldn’t even look at an attractive women as a human being, but only saw her as an object to pursue or a trigger to act out on. I was no longer in control of myself and the more I indulged the more my appetite for porn increased.

However, I didn’t truly see porn addiction as similar to drug addiction until I tried to stop. One afternoon, I saw an attractive woman that set me off.  I found myself feeling anxious and like I had to watch some porn to get rid of the feeling. I was literally physically shaking as I hurried to a computer to log on to my favorite porn site. I didn’t care about anything else.  What I had just experienced was something almost identical to my past drug withdrawals. That was when I knew I had lost complete control over myself and was being consumed by this addiction to porn.

Unfortunately, that eye-opening experience was only the beginning. It took me many more years to pull out of my porn addiction than it did with my addiction to drugs. Remember before when I said that I thought to myself that me watching porn didn’t hurt anyone? Wow, was I wrong. The damage and hurt my porn addiction brought to my wife and kids was nearly irreparable. There were many times throughout the whole experience that I felt I’d be better off taking my own life because I probably would never have a normal life and healthy relationship.

So much for some “fun, harmless entertainment,” right?

Almost everyone knows that sticking a needle in your arm isn’t good for you.  But do they know that porn can be just as addictive and ruin relationships with the people they love? Knowing personally that pornography addiction was so much harder to kick than my drug addiction, my advice to anyone that wants a real satisfying life and relationship is to avoid porn at all costs. If you find you’re already stuck in it, get out and get help immediately. It will never satisfy you and it only gets worse.

As for me, being free from this, and everything else, has made my life, family, and marriage better than it has ever been. The struggle to free myself from this addiction has been much more worth it than I would have imagined.

Pastor Paul has seen this addition among Christian men in the church as well.  You are not alone. There is hope to overcome through Jesus Christ.  If you are struggling in this area, please contact Pastor Paul for a plan to change yourself and your family.